Every morning in my quiet time, I ask God to speak to me.  

It still amazes me how often a scripture or a thought 

pops into my head that speaks directly to my need.

This morning was no different.  

 I have been sad the last few days.

Not sure why, just constantly on the verge of tears.

Yet, it has comforted me to also be aware at the same time

of the joy of the Lord deep in my very being.

I poured out my heart to my Heavenly Father this morning.

In response, He gave to me these words:

"Mourn lost dreams.

Celebrate what I have planned for you."

I realized that even though 

I believed I was through with the grieving process, 

I am not.

I have grieved many things since the end of my marriage 

seven and one half years ago.  

I haven't grieved the dreams lost.

There are so many things I didn't do because 

I gave up myself in order to please another person.

 The things that mattered to me were ridiculed or seen as unimportant 

so I pushed them deep within and went on with my life.

I will soon be sixty years old.

Many of the things I dreamed of doing as a young person

will probably never come to pass this side of Heaven.

However, God knew the choices I would make in my life and the consequences, good and bad, that would come from those choices.

He also knows the dreams He has planted in me.  

I'm glad He does because right now I'm not sure I do.

I think that because it hurt so much, 

I've forgotten what it's like to dream.

It was easier to just go along, dreams lost.

That's why God's words to me this morning mean so much.

Mourn lost dreams and move on to the plans He has for me.

So I'm going to allow myself to remember and regret dreams lost.

But I'm not going to wallow in it.

I have just existed for too many years

I want to live life to its fullest.

I'm asking God to restore my passion for living.

I'm asking Him to replace my old dreams with His new ones.

I'm believing His promise to give me a future with hope.

I'm believing His word that says:

"Do not remember the past events,
    pay no attention to things of old. 

    Look, I am about to do something new;
    even now it is coming. Do you not see it?
    Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness,
    rivers in the desert."

Isaiah 43: 18-19