"Sometimes just being there is all that is needed."

 I have learned over the past few years that we sometimes 

talk too much when someone is hurting.  

Many times all that's needed is a hug.

If they're genuine, tears minister to a hurting heart.

Platitudes and even scripture are often not the way to go.

Sometimes, however, a well placed word or two can help.

Just be certain they are healing, not hurting words.

"I know how you feel" 

doesn't  help because when you're hurting 

you don't care if someone else knows how you feel.

You just know you hurt.

"He's in a better place" 

may make her feel bad because right now 

she doesn't want him to be in a better place.  

She wants him with her.

"Call me if you need anything" 

is nice but most likely he won't call.

"We're picking you up and taking you out to eat tonight" 

may be just what he needs to hear.

"God knows what is best"

is true but not always appropriate

because loss doesn't seem best at the time.

"I care and I'm praying for you" 

mean more than you may know.

 When I was going through my worse pain after my divorce,

the people who just listened 

and listened some more helped me the most.

Even if they'd heard it all before,

they listened again.

They allowed me to vent, 

to complain,

to cry,

to grieve.

No judgment.

No platitudes.

No "get over it'.

And after they listened to me,

I believe they listened to God.

The words that helped me heal came from these people.

So if you don't know what to say,

say nothing!

Hug!

Listen!

Cry!

"Jesus wept."

John 11:35